Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She bit a glass in half.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
