he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
