I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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