I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
