the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
