I want to make a zoo with you.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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