dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
