i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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