Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
