youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
be right there i have to get my cape
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
