so explain again why im purple
no
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
