I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Are we still banned from the library?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
