My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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