We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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