i think my tv is drunk
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
