I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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