Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
