I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize