I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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