I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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