Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
