I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
