bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
