i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
