So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
