How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
