i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You are a genius and a whore.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
