I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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