Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
She announced her abortion via fbk
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
