im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
