Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
