Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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