I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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