Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
