It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
