let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
