In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
