me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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