It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
No subtext here. People are naked.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
