Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
