i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
