Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She told me I should be a condom model.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
