I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
