you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
