this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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