If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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