you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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