I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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