Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
