Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
