Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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